note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
