i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize