I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
