after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
