We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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