please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
