well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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