haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
