I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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