dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
