No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
