"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
