At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
