You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
