and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
