mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
