I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
