He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im holly from the hills drunk
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
