Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
