About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
