With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We're too hungover to prance.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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