i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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