I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
worst night to have a conscience
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
