i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
