NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
