so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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