Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
