i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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