It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
