Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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