Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That was an excessively violent trivia night
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
