I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
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