You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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