Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
