**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize