Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
