If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
