Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
