I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
