Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
