they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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