wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Oh god it's open bar.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
