so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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