I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
