Sponge bath it is.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize