drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
