I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
