you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
