Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
