How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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