I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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