lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
