All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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