So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
