you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
