the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize
