you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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