The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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