Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize