I think I just saw someone hide a body.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
