I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
