So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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